Get Yer Alberta Culture Days ON!! (Plus: Bonus "What's Wrong With 2017 Fashion?!" Rant)

Jenny Plays Nice (Part One)

Hello my party people!!

I will first tell you all about the grand opening of cSpace Sept. 29 - Oct. 1, 2017.

I will tell you about this because I foolishly volunteered to RUN A WRITING CENTRE (?!)* from 1-5pm on Friday, September 29th [4th floor, Alexandra Writers' Centre Society] and am begging you to come visit me. Quid pro quo: if you come to the opening, I'll stop raving about the writing centre/ artistic utopia that is this old school. Just look for the giant babydoll and I'm just behind there!
Some info for my clickers: http://cspacekingedward.com/culturedays/

DISCLAIMER: Blogger isn't letting me post pictures, so imagination is required until uploading can happen... ENJOY!!

Here's some background knowledge I've stolen so far:

King Edward School was built in 1912 and looked like this: 

 And this:

Now it (almost) looks like this (but with a wall and stuff to keep out the snow):

With gigantor babydolls:

"Field Doll"

Words to inspire:

And anatomically correct(?) bison:

cSpace (we believe) is short for Culture Space (or Creative Space in my brain-hole).

There is a rescue dog named Charlie on the 2nd floor that puts on a gentle bravado but knows better than to get too close, so you can just wave from a few steps away.

Charlie's stunt double, Roy

Also on the 2nd floor is a wee gallery and shop! Every floor/ hallway, however, is part of the  "I Am Western" exhibit which is very diverse and intriguing (and sometimes confusing: see babydoll above)...

I'm excited and apprehensive! So far my contribution has been to make coffee a few times a week, (and not always successfully at that), but I plan to be super famous pretty soon, so I'll give cSpace a shout out after that happens...

~ Jen

* I volunteered thinking I'd hold pamphlets for 4 hours. Instead I'll be teaching the next generation how to use sarcasm effectively on their blogs...? If your stomach clenches at the idea of manning a writing centre open to the public, then I'm sending you a virtual fist-bump, my fellow intra-verités!!!

Procrasti-rant (Part Two):

"Old Blogger" Loses Her Figurative Sh*t 

re: 

Current Fashion Foolishness

This is for my NORMAL people out there.

For the people who agree that SKINNY JEANS NEED TO DIE.

I bought my first pair of skinny jeans a few weeks ago (my nieces just felt a disturbance in the [fashion] force, and are unnerved but not sure why...) from Winners. (Because that's what you are when you shop there.) And can we all be honest, here? Skinny jeans are just glorified tapered jeans. I almost had an anxiety flashback to 1992. I mean, honestly. If you're not a bony 14 year-old, they are just f'g ridiculous. Case in point: My Shopping Expedition to Market Mall.

This is 1992. I know some of you may be confused.

 I avoid malls like the plague because THEY ARE THE WORST. They are money, energy, and time suckers and if you were born before 1985 they make you feel old. I recently lost some weight, which garners you ZERO sympathy that your clothes are too big; but it's not like I started eating vegetables and turned into Cindy Crawford for godssakes!! I just have different fat groupings to dress differently without tripping on my too-long trousers and biting the dust.

This is also 1992. I can guarantee you Cindy has a wedgie.

Case File* #1: American Eagle

Looking for pants? Look no further! American Eagle has JEGGINGS. Blair and I were just wondering when SNL skits/commercials started becoming actual products to buy. (Also see: mom jeans, available at AE, and mocked effectively by Tina Fey et al... Or so I thought...). "Jeggings" used to be an infomercial where you could get tights that looked like jeans. This Old Blogger went into AE and saw WALLS of "jeggings" which I thought was just a cute way of saying "jeans." NOPE! I tried-to-try some on but literally couldn't get them past my leg fat. The real/ old-people-jeans were still available tucked away in the corner.

Xtra High Rise Jeggings (AE)

AND I ALSO RESENT being forced to almost verbally say: "you're charging me WHAT?! for ruined jeans??!!" FORTY is not the new SEVENTY, so stop making me sound like my parents.

How do you put these on? No, really.

AND I ALSO ALSO RESENT having acid-like flashbacks with current fashion "trends." BODY SUITS?! If you had asked ANYONE from the '90's they would have said, "instant wedgie" (if they were skinny enough to wear one). Also, velour track suits. Flannel shirts [which I'm actually ok with, but not for $50+ !! See?? You made me sound old again!! Shame!] . Wickitty-wack flower patterns. Overall shorts. Belly shirts. JEAN SHIRTS.
HOW. DARE. YOU.

Don't do it. DON'T.

I found a nice pair of trousers at Banana Republic and was about to swing into the GAP for a last ditch effort to get THREE pairs in one outing, but was disheartened to see all the skinny pants in the display. (I have since been told they still sell the other cuts in the back, but I think you need to know the secret handshake if you're under 21. If you're my age they just wordlessly point to the far corner and try not to make eye contact...). I just got the fug outta there.

Final thoughts:

You know you're getting old when you start scoping the Mom stores.
You know you're getting old when you keep seeing BAD fashion trends return.
You know you're getting old when you have a "deer-in-the-headlights" look to you in any mall.
You know you're getting old when you wonder, "when did they get rid of the Reitman's?"

Do you have any "you know you're getting older whens" for me? Leave a comment, comrades!!

Thanks for reading/ indulging!!

~ Writing Jenny

* I don't have any more case files, I've just been on a true crime binge on Netflix, and feel like AE are crime. Just: CRIME.