[Way TMI] About Me

So here's my baseline for the Whole30 experimentation 2017.

 Age: 39 

(Physical age: 7 year coma patient?)

 

In a nutshell: I was born on April 27, 1978. (This puts me at the tail-end of Gen X.) My parents were amazing and for the first 3 years and 10 months we lived in a relative Garden of Eden. The Fall came in the form of a blonde cherub named Kathleen-not-Katie. We fought like rock-stars in an Oasis tribute-band, but eventually grew to love each other.

Not the Carter's

Between 1978 and 2007 I think I was a relatively good kid turned person.*

We moved a few times, and I was put into Catholic school which really only finally came in handy in my History and English courses in University (sorry Grandma!). I would call myself "bookish" bordering on the hopelessly clumsy with an apathy towards sports of any kind (this will be relevant later). For some reason I become best friends with kids and then they move away. From Claire and Haley (artsy downtown elementary for smarter kids), Heather (Red Deer) to Lisa (smarter high school), to Anna & Allie (Sweden and Vancouver, respectively), to Carmen (raw food veganism), to Amy and Dana (both seduced by the Greatest of Britains and the men they produce).

Like many a Gen-X'er, I have degrees in English and Education (both because I otherwise had NO IDEA what to do with life, and liked to read?). Worked part-time at Chapters and met the BEST people that I still love and keep in touch with.

Because of... life... I didn't teach English in Japan (It happens. I've moved on.), and moved out for a WHOLE YEAR by myself (age 28?) whilst in a deep depression and moved back home to help with my dad. I also gained a 16 year-old sister that year who needed some reprieve from her teen angst/ family and moved in with us (hi Jessica! Hi-i-i-i-i-i....). And boy did she get to see the bottom we hit with dad.

In 1998 my dad was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's, but it was more like something under that umbrella that no one had really seen before, and for 10 years we all worked together to keep our shit together, with varying success. He passed on March 2nd, 2007.

 

Personal Psyche: Generally Disturbed

 

I've probably been on some form of anti-anxiety/ anti-depressant since I was 24-or-so (15+ years for those not mathy), and have worked with my GP (who is kind and amazing), a psychologist for a time, and then the last 7 years have been with my counsellor Christina without whom I would still be watching Buffy on DVD and crocheting blankets for everyone I've ever met.

The psychologist helped me get over some life traumas alongside losing my dad, but I would be wrecked after meeting with her, and my new boyfriend at the time hated to see me so physically and mentally drained!! To make matters worse, she just kept throwing larger and larger doses of meds at me because I wasn't getting better, including "risperadone" which would slow my metabolism "and I would just have to exercise more" to balance it. Had she MET me?? (I once had a boyfriend tell me that he only wanted to have kids with someone physically fit, and I was all, "then WHY are you dating ME??"). I gained "much weight" and spiralled even lower.

 

Exercise: Little to None 

 

My spirit animal is the sloth. They have cute little tummies and love doing nothing. Look how cute we are:

 

Energy: Low

 

Last fall I was able to re-join the workforce part-time at a second-hand bookstore. That was a Christmas miracle in itself. I recently had to dial my hours back as I feel like I can never catch up on sleep or feel rested. Mainly because of these 2 A-holes:

They even look like A-holes when they're sleeping.

Weight: Mind Your Own Beeswax

I have tried probably eleventeen times or more to join gyms, work out alone, with friends, with boyfriends, with trainers (even a trainer that wanted to BE my boyfriend! Can you IMAGINE! HA!), with The Running Room [there is no such thing as a "runner's high" for me. If you're shaking your head at this, I am slapping my figurative hand on your judgey figurative cheek.] At my heaviest/ lowest I was over 200 lbs.

No pictures I admit to: this is an approximation

Someone told me that doctors in Japan posit that exercise is bad for our bodies/ joints. Let's go with that and not google anything about it.

 

Eating Habits: All colours except for green

 

I was a picky kid, and my husband has to chop up vegetables super small so I can't pick them out of dishes... I haven't eaten gluten in 3 years after doing Paleo for 30 days and gluten was the winner for making me THE MOST sick. I do however realize that I need to man-up and eat them veg.

So this is me! For the month of June (30 days, yo!) I'm going to eat like the internet is watching. I'd love for you to drink my non-Kool-aid with me, but I know what it's like to hear people blab who are just joining a cult. I will be thine guinea pig and make sure David Koresh isn't cooking my tuckus. Wish my tuckus luck!

~ Writing Jenny

 

* No kids are NOT to be considered people until they're... 21? And considering this generation I'm going to stretch that to 25+... Teenagers we can all agree: Not people.