I Am Jack's Nervous Colon

Hello fellows!

If you got the Fight Club reference you get to double fist-pump! For the uninitiated, the main character (or MC as the blogger kids call them) finds a stack of old notebooks, each one dedicated to someone named Jack's body parts, organs included. A famous line in the movie is: "I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. I am Jack's broken heart."

Me appropriating those fictional notebooks works on many levels. The most obvious is that I probably DO have a nervous colon as the rest of my body is in a constant state of "resting anxiety" (I just made that up even though it's probably true). The slightly LESS obvious is this internal countdown/ external Roman calendar countdown to June 1st wherein I give up everything that tastes good in the universe, as well as telling everyone that has an email account that I'm doing this, which will make my fall harder (if it happens). Which was my intention, in a way, so I could be a guinea pig for others who are feeling poopy and want to make a change. But also pouting until I feel better.


For instance, I am reading:

And if you've read this, or saw Matt Damon in the movie, you may know that at one point he has to survive on a potato diet for quite some time (UNTIL HE DIES - spoiler alert) and the whiny part of me was thinking, "hey man, you get to EAT POTATOES!"

This is basically me right now:

But this morning I watched We Love Paleo on Amazon Prime and was reinvigorated and reassured by all the cheerleaders on there. I'll link some of their products below. (Paleo living is basically a precursor to the Whole30 thing.)

Similarly, I had live friend-people cheerleaders at a bday party on the long weekend, and some wise words from my pal Glenn who is addicted to Spartan races. He said that there's something to the old saying, "listen to your gut" because everything is connected to your guts! (He said it more eloquently.) Hormones, energy, ESP... I mean, EVERYTHING! And the Paleo documentary was also talking about not only eating like our cavemen ancestors, but to exercise/ play like them as well... Sooo not there yet, but here's a picture of Glenn playing in mud at a Spartan race:

And while we've all thought he was crazy (he is, though), apparently he's on the right crazy-train track, if all these healthy, life-loving pod-people are to be believed.

I'm still reading It Starts With Food and am impressed at how supportive they are to help people with this major lifestyle change. They even have a link: https://whole30.com/pdf-downloads/ where you can find free checklists, shopping lists, recipe ideas, etc. and all with the idea of sharing knowledge for the greater good. So: hippies, basically. Socialist, left-wing, help-the-world-to-be-better, HIPPIES.

Hippies in 1968

This Paleo/ Whole30 movement even wants you to eat food raised NATURALLY. Can you imagine?! The audacity that we wouldn't be comfortable with the factory meat we eat and how we get it. If you THINK about it, it's for sure gross and inhumane, but it's the general norm/ conventional wisdom. So keep smoking your doobies, hippies.

In conclusion...

...

...

Look at these cute things I crocheted!!!!!

Sherlock Holmes, and yes, he is smoking a wee pipe.

Moby Dick. Obviously.

This is my distraction from joining this new healthy-hippie-subculture; joining a sub-sub culture of people crocheting amigurumi (translation: "crocheted or knitted stuffed toy") EVERYTHING from sushi to superheroes to apparently classic literary characters. Pretty soon I will be designing my very own weirdo things and making millions.

Well, I'm off to go "rest"/ nap. And what have we learned from this post? That even though I'm lethargic, unhealthy, stubborn, and pouting, I'm still hilarious. Sure hope "healthy lifestyles" don't take away your sense of humour! You'd tell me, right?

Stay weird, friends!

~ Writing Jenny