Sunshine, Lollipops and "The Apnea" (Doo-doo-doo-doo!)

day 15...

Excuse me, I seem to have dropped my rose-coloured glasses...

So Blair survived me this week. No, you read that right. I was a HUGE pain in the tuckus! APPARENTLY the cult bloom is off the cult rose.*



I assumed/ hoped that by the end of week 2 I would be in the swing of things, but MAN! This is a lot of work [for Blair]!!

THIS WEEK:

• I  hopped out of my moving car because an ant hill tried to hitchhike on my legs... (yes, I was driving, yes it was only 3 ants BUT FROM AN ANT HILL, so probably teenagers...)
• I realized that I don't get chocolate to alleviate my PMS. THAT IS THE ONE THING WE GET. CHOCOLATE. It is our god-given right as women to eat chocolate when feeling crazy-balls.
• Woke up in the middle of the night CHOKING on my own saliva like a preemie newborn lamb. The internet says this is because I have the Sleep Apnea. Blair says that sounds extreme but when is Google wrong about anything?
• The following morning I felt pitiful/ angry/ grumpy that I had to cook AGAIN...
• Customers this week: (1) Guy: "This is the first time I've come in here not hiding from the police!" (2) Different guy: "I'm interested in the occult; do you have something like Harry Potter, but real?" Then bought The Giving Tree and instructional sex books. So, ya.
• Found perfect house but not ready to sell ours so it will have to go to some other deserving a-holes
• Donald Trump is the worst. Every week he gets worser and you can't escape him. And we're in CANADA where we shouldn't care so much.

Basically Whole30 mid-way is kinda sucky. I am a phlegmy grumpy kitten. But I look A-MAZING. Almost emaciated! (JK.)

I am a trucker and am keepin' on keepin' on. Whole30 says this is for my own good. Blair says, "get this woman some chocolate!!!"

~ Writing Jenny

* Apparently Cult Rose is a shoe company! Check out these bad boys:

Just one of the perks of joining Scientology!